So, um, we went ahead and did Christmas without y'all this year. Sorry; we just got tired of waiting, and, honestly, it's not like we've really talked in the last couple of months, I mean REALLY talked, y'know? So, why put this hypocritical burden on ourselves of pretending that we spent all this time searching for the perfect gifts for each other when really we were just scrambling about in a blind panic and that's why you got a novelty bar of soap for Christmas this year.
So, we're cool, right?
Kidding: I still love you all the same as the day I scraped you off the underside of the table and gave you names and pretended that I had real friends.
Although we DID go ahead and had Christmas last weekend; it's just that we're going away to the magical kingdom of Vancouverland to visit the grandparents this week, so we figgered it'd be easier to give the Little Miss a day of insanity here, as opposed to hauling all of her junk there and back again. Sorry if you didn't get the invite, but it was kind of a family affair, if you consider the guy living in your basement to be family.
(Which we do, because it's Bryn, and, well, Bryn is all kinds of awesome, even if he does walk around in his sweatpants all the time, carrying a knotted pair of jockey shorts in his hands while trying to teach my daughter how to talk like an Ewok. I swear to god, Bryn, the moment she utters the phrase 'Jub-jub' is the moment you find her soiled diapers inside of your pillow case.)
So, yes, Saturday morning we all gathered around our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree and watched while Hazel consumed her own body weight in sugar before stuffing herself into the toy oven that the Ladyfriend had spent all night previous constructing for her so that the Little Miss would have somewhere to put all the toy sushi that she recieved as a Chrsitmas gift, although now that I think about it, sushi's supposed to be raw so why would she need an oven to cook it in and now I should shut up because the Ladyfriend staying up until 2:00 in the goddamned morning building a kitchen out of cardboard for our daughter to play with is also seven shades of awesome and now here is where I breathe.
(whew.)
She also spent the previous two evenings making a fireplace out of construction paper so that we could have somewhere to hang our stockings.
Because I have apparently married Supermom. I am actually agog when I think about how much work the Ladyfriend put in to making Christmas special, not only for our daughter, but for everyone at the house. You rule, Supermom.
(This is not to say that my own mother is not Supermom as well, because she is, seeing as she had to not only raise me but also my brother (who is smelly) and my two sisters (who are not as smelly as they once were but when they were, whoooo boy!) as well as put up with my Dad, who I'm sure is where we all got our smelliness from - but for now, The Ladyfriend gets the title of Supermom, because she rocks harder than Dokken.)
(Who, when you really think about it, don't rock that hard at all, but whatever.)
So this is me saying, sorry if you missed it, but we had fun, and now we're going, and we won't be back until the new year, so stay outta my stuff. I've laid traps, so I'll know, so be good.
No comments:
Post a Comment