Sorry I Been Sleepin I Totally Forgot I Was Here.

Oh hey look I have one of these 'blog' things.

A few things:

1. I hate the Globe & Mail's new format. I don't care for anyone's opinions on how actual newsprint is a dead media, or how you can get all your news from the internet faster and probably cheaper and you don't have to wade through fifty pages of Holt Renfrew Ads to find out that an editor in Toronto thinks that climate change is bad; I don't care. I like newspapers. What's more, if the method by which I receive my news hasn't displaced at least fourteen different forest creatures, well, then, I can't really enjoy my morning cup of coffee, can I?

Anyway. Point is: I used to like reading the Globe & Mail. Now it looks like a tabloid. Some of you might say that it was always a tabloid, and I might be inclined to agree with you, but the fact remains that if I'm going to visit a whore, I'd prefer my whore to be pretty, not trashy. If  I wanted to sleep with a Forest Lawn street rat in a filthy hoodie and sweatpants with the word 'princess' stenciled across the ass, I'd read the Calgary Sun.

(My apologies to any friends who are from or currently live in Forest Lawn. You have a wonderful community. I think.)

(My apologies also to anyone who reads and enjoys the Calgary Sun. I'm sorry your newspaper sucks.)

2. If you call yourself a firefighter, and then proceed to do nothing but watch as another family's home burns to the ground simply because they didn't pay your annual fee, you might want to find another occupation, because your actions have just proved that you are NOT, as you a thought, an actual FIREFIGHTER, but instead a SPECTATOR, and that the only reason you got into the job was because you thought Denis Leary was cool when he pretended to be fucked up on vodka and talking to his dead friends. You suck. 

Also: if you're the fire chief who told his crew to let the house burn, I think it's only fair that someone who lived in said house gets to punch you in the face without any legal repercussion. You suck even more than than your pretend-firefighters.

3. I need a goddamned coffee.