So, yes, I am legally allowed to drive on the streets all by myself now, and I totally understand why the majority of you swear so much. This is not to say that I didn't possess the mouth of a sailor before this, but lately it's only compounded by the fact that YOU WON'T GET OFF MY ASS, MOTHERFUCKER. I'm already going 70 in a 60 zone, and I know that the only reason you're so far up my uterus is so that you can get home in time to masturbate while watching UFC, so do us all a favour and just chill. Cool?
Also: why am I not allowed to wear my glasses when you're taking my picture for my license? It's not like I've got some Clark Kent/Superman thing going on, where I can fool the entire universe by donning a pair of spectacles...although, ya gotta admit, it'd be a great way to get out of a speeding ticket...
Anyway: this is just me saying, if you happen to be stuck behind me in traffic, all I'm asking for is a little patience, because if you honk at me after I've gone and stalled my car in the turning lane for the seventh time, I'm probably just as frustrated as you are, and I've really got no compunction against getting out of car and making an even bigger scene by kicking out your headlights or maybe just squatting on your hood and leaving a big ol' steaming coiler for ya. Because I care.
Just sayin'.
No comments:
Post a Comment