This Is No Reflection On My Own Life At The Moment Whatsoever. Nope. None.

So, by now you've probably all seen that the universe is working against me, because there's gonna be another Gathering of the Juggalos this year (it's the 11th, guys! Now, I forget, is that the paper, silk, or green Faygo anniversary?); this depresses me, because as much as everyone claims to hate juggalos and ICP and this entire nation of aborted brain tissue, it strikes me that it won't be long before we start seeing ironic juggalos, and then we'll have to differentiate between 'real' juggalos and 'fake' juggalos, despite the fact that both camps will probably need to be pacified with tasers over and over again until the white noise starts to fade from my brain.

Don't get me wrong; despite my grumpy conservative leanings, I tend to think that everyone's a human being who's deserving of love and respect and all those hippyish things. I do. Even though I threaten to throw things at most of the human beings I encounter. I'm happy that these people who define themselves as juggalos seem to have found a community where they can all feel comfortable, safe, or just not as alienated as they'd normally be anywhere else.

The problem is stagnancy. It's great to get together and celebrate what you have in common, but when what you have in common is simply getting fucked up and obliterating as many brain cells as possible before the morning comes, and then waking up and doing it again, all the while listening to the most mediocre music in creation made by people who only encourage more of this infantile behaviour? You're not moving forward, and that's a problem, because in essence, you're simply wasting my air, and I'd like it back, please. Evolve or die. I don't think that's too much to ask.

(Granted, this message is probably for more than just the juggalos, as the majority of people who despise them act in similar self-destructive patterns, they just don't wear silly make-up while they do it.)

I guess what I'm saying here is this: I don't think I can make fun of them any more. My ridicule would only add to their collective sense of alienation, and would seem to give them a reason to continue in acting like complete mongoloids (not that I'm dumb enough to think that the juggalo nation heeds my opinion, but you know what I mean). Maybe if I just held off and stopped treating them like assholes, a few of them might stop acting like assholes.

Besides: how many of you had to look up magnetism on wikipedia after you heard that 'Miracles' song, just to make sure you knew how they 'effing' worked? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Oh, wait, I haven't had coffee yet today.