I think it was 2011 when I last posted. I'm not sure. THE INTERNET IS SO DIFFERENT NOW. Well, not really, but still: this kinda feels like breaking into an apartment you'd moved outta years ago in a building that'd since been condemned, just to see if something remains from THEN to maybe help shed light on the NOW.
Oh, Jesus, I just paralleled a Barenaked Ladies song. I deserve no internet forever.
Anyway: baby steps.
Stuff I Saw On The Bike Ride Home From Work While I Was Pistoning My Fat Legs & Trying To Keep My Belly Fat From Getting Caught In The Spokes:
1. A teenager in the driver's seat of a red corvette, wriggling out of a basketball jersey without bothering to remove his seatbelt.
2. A very tanned good-ol-boy, complete with mullet and handlebar moustache, at the wheel of a battered olive-coloured truck, blasting Ludacris on his stereo and rapping along word for word. He nearly hit me, but it's okay because he stopped just in time and was very sincere in his apology. I just kinda gasped for breath and kept pedalling, because somewhere, out there, is a version of me that doesn't get tired when he gets up from a chair.
3. A woman eating an entire McDonald's Chicken McNugget Meal in front of a church (the one that Mark once said was gonna be his vampire home) while waiting for the bus.
4. A window decal at Starbucks that said 'This Is My Now Frappuccino' which puzzled me because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS HOW DID I GET SO OLD.
5. Ducks.
That is all. Your Tumblr account is basically you just saying that you've given up on memory, and now you have a place to keep all of your special things.
Your homework: list every possible type of apocalypse you can think of. Zombies don't count, of course.
Oh, Jesus, I just paralleled a Barenaked Ladies song. I deserve no internet forever.
Anyway: baby steps.
Stuff I Saw On The Bike Ride Home From Work While I Was Pistoning My Fat Legs & Trying To Keep My Belly Fat From Getting Caught In The Spokes:
1. A teenager in the driver's seat of a red corvette, wriggling out of a basketball jersey without bothering to remove his seatbelt.
2. A very tanned good-ol-boy, complete with mullet and handlebar moustache, at the wheel of a battered olive-coloured truck, blasting Ludacris on his stereo and rapping along word for word. He nearly hit me, but it's okay because he stopped just in time and was very sincere in his apology. I just kinda gasped for breath and kept pedalling, because somewhere, out there, is a version of me that doesn't get tired when he gets up from a chair.
3. A woman eating an entire McDonald's Chicken McNugget Meal in front of a church (the one that Mark once said was gonna be his vampire home) while waiting for the bus.
4. A window decal at Starbucks that said 'This Is My Now Frappuccino' which puzzled me because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS HOW DID I GET SO OLD.
5. Ducks.
That is all. Your Tumblr account is basically you just saying that you've given up on memory, and now you have a place to keep all of your special things.
Your homework: list every possible type of apocalypse you can think of. Zombies don't count, of course.
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