Okay, so, go to the site Dangerous Minds, and watch the video posted there. It's cool, I'll wait.
Back? Fucked up, no? Yeah. YEAH.
I mean, here's the thing: we all engage with pornography in some way or another. You can deny it all you want, I won't call you on it, because, hey, that's your deal, not mine, but I know where you're coming from, because I spent more than enough of my life thinking it was wrong, that I was somehow a pervert or worse, simply because I sometimes found it enjoyable to watch other people have sex. I don't feel that way any more, but, y'know, there's a time and a place, and OH MY GOD THAT PLACE IS NOT WITH YOUR CHILD.
Sorry. That one got outta me before I could stifle it. Anyway: there's part of me that starts to sympathize with this guy, because he's obviously gotta believe that what he's doing (making 'adult entertainment') is not only not a bad thing, but in fact is a good thing, so that he can wake up every day and go to the office and do it. Make the movies. Hire a cast and crew, find a location, shoot it, edit it, arrange for distribution, do PR and whatnot - I'm guessing here, because I haven't yet produced my own porn so I don't know exactly what goes into it, although it might make it's way onto my very own Bucket List, so yes, I'm accepting resumes...okay, enough. Point: he can't do all of these things if he thinks he's ruining lives and reinforcing negative stereotypes in regards to sexual dominance and gender politics (I don't know what any of those words mean, I just made them up).
He can't do all of these things if he thinks he's a monster. Which, y'know, he isn't. He might be deluded, misguided, completely inappropriate, hell, FUCKED-UP, but he's not the Most Evil Person In The World (that title belongs the guy who delivers my papers, a person who, despite my many requests to have the paper deposited in my mailbox, continues to pitch it into the deepest snowbank he can find). He's a guy who thinks he's found his calling, which is to provide the rest of us with the means to get off through the wonders of technology. Even if it means using his step-daughter in his movies.
Which is where my sympathy dries up. Because as much as I know that my own daughter will one day grow up and do...things which will no doubt make me uncomfortable were I to know of them, it will be none of my fucking business. My job isn't to dictate her sexuality, or to enforce certain gender roles upon her, or even to guide her towards what I think a safe or enjoyable lifestyle might be. My job is a) to make sure she knows that she is safe and loved, b) to make sure she knows she has the right to be happy and treated with respect, and c) to hopefully let her see that she has a responsibility to treat everyone else the same way. And, well, d) to make sure she knows damned well that Han fired first.
That's it. Well, and the whole feeding and caring thing, and brushing her teeth and getting her to poop in the toilet and not on the sidewalk, but beyond that, I have no right getting involved. And I don't want to sit in judgement of anyone, because I've learned so many times from personal experience that it always comes back to bite you in the ass, so instead of saying that I consider this man's behaviour as reprehensible and as abusive as, say, outright beating your child, I'll say this: if any of you ever hear of me doing something as damaging as this to my own child, you have my permission to put two bullets in my head and dump me in the river.
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