Little Miss, you just spent fifteen minutes on the toilet, singing a song about peeing and shooing Dad away every time he came by to see if you were done. You were very adamant about dismounting by yourself, and cleaning your hands by yourself, and even trying to put your clothes on by yourself. Are you telling me you did this all just so that you could go sit on thecouch and deposit another gallon of urine into it's cushions?
This is why Daddy drinks.
Kidding.
Anyway: I am on a mission. Sorta.
This is Miss Amy. Well, not really, but Amy's pretty much as awesome as a website devoted to sharks and profanity, and she needs a bit of help. She's organizing a carnival for the APRH Community Assoc. on August 14th, 2010, and despite her amazing powers of radness, she seems to be having a bit of trouble drumming up volunteers. Which is where all of you come in.
I know y'all like to spend your Saturdays waking up in a beer-haze, wondering what fresh hell you've put your body through during the previous couple of days, and usually wind up at some patio somewhere prepared to commit more alcoholic atrocities against your liver. I know y'all do this, and I know y'all think you don't have a choice in the matter.
Well, I am here to emancipate you, ladies and sirs; for what better purpose could we dedicate a lovely Saturday morning than to running Bean Bag Tosses or Potato Sack Races, or serving strange concession items to urchins and orphans alike, or roving about the grounds in order to keep the general peace and rescue ragamuffins from getting caught in gopher holes and the like? Do you really think your day would be better if you'd spent it floating down the Bow River in a leaky innertube, most of your metal faculties being spent trying to balance a can of beer on your belly? Of course not.
In all seriousness: Amy needs a bit of help, and y'all know you'd have fun. So if you're free from 10:00-4:00 that day, and you want to do something nice for someone who does nice things for, well, EVERYONE, then get in touch with Amy, or get in touch with me and I'll send you her way. There might even be a promise of beer for you afterwards. But don't count on it, because I'm cheap. Also: even if you're not the helping type, it wouldn't kill you to drag yourself down and check the carnival out, because Amy always puts a lot of work into these things, and everyone usually has a good time, except for that one time a couple of years ago, but we don't talk about that, and besides, everyone knows that kid was asking for it.
Also: no creeps. Honestly.
Myself, I'd gladly help out, but I've already busy that day teaching my daughter to sneak through barbed wire with a combat knife between her teeth. We gots PLANS, yo.
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